I’ve recently come to the realization that I make far too many apologies. When it comes to the people I am close to, my default form of sympathy or empathy seems to be apologies.
When I am late for something with others, I apologize. Even if the reason I was late is because I paused to help a nephew or niece, I apologize for keeping them waiting … and if I don’t take that moment to help that nephew or niece, then I also offer them my apology. “Sorry, Auntie has to run!” I’ve trapped myself into an impossible place!
Recognizing Areas to Improve
I think I have known for a while that I need to not apologize so much. “Don’t be sorry!” others have told me.
It is interesting, when I pause to consider to whom I feel inclined to apologize, it isn’t everyone. When I make returns at the store, I’m friendly and all, but I don’t apologize. If they didn’t want me to return items they really shouldn’t offer a return policy. When one of my customers wants to return a garment, I apologize initially, “ooh, I’m so sorry that didn’t work for you” and then I help them with the return. That apology is more a formality and good business etiquette, not a needless apology.
But when it comes to the people I love, I think I take everything to a whole new level. “She might be put off by this, or he might wonder that,” I think. So in order to get ahead of the curve, I apologize. It is ridiculous and unnecessary!
When someone wants to give me a gift, I want to apologize. When things don’t work out quite as I had anticipated, I want to apologize to whomever I might have inconvenienced. But somewhere along the way I have realized the habit that I have so thoroughly sunk into. And I began to ponder how to determine if an apology is even necessary.
So I turned the tables! If I were them and they were me and I gave a gift would I want an apology? No, of course not! If somebody’s plans got switched all around, would I think they should apologize? No! Plans are always changing and to apologize for a way of life is just ridiculous!
Realization is the First Step
I have realized that when I approach people in an apologetic manner, they are not going to be inspired by my plans. And it isn’t going to encourage me to confidently purse what God has for me to pursue right now!
Perhaps you don’t struggle with offering needless apologies. But likely you have your own area that you want to improve on. Perhaps you want to make a special effort to say thank you. Or maybe you want to be more decisive.
When you realize your need to combat a weakness or struggle, that’s actually a good thing! It not only means that you have become aware of an area where you can improve but also that you are interested in improving!
We need to pay attention to our thoughts. My thoughts are where all my apologies begin – and I’ve worked around my apologies far too long. I am certain that there is a happy balance between accepting responsibility, being sympathetic and then finding a need to apologize about everything.
Don’t Forget Grace
Don’t forget grace along the way as you work to improve. Some days your new efforts will be a breeze and other days they will be a real struggle. Just remember, all good things are worth working for! (Betcha haven’t heard me say that before! Kidding!)
From now on, I aspire to confidently and gratefully pursue what is before me – no apologies necessary!
Until Next Time!
Hope.
PS. Want to send me an email to ask a question or just say hello?! I love hearing from my readers and do my best to respond to each email! You can email me at hope[at]theamericanlady[dot]com or find me on Instagram @theamericanlady. Can’t wait to connect with you!