Do you know how to navigate relationships well? It is essential to know and practice if you are going to be your best in life!
Relationships are vitally important. It is how you relate to those around you – be they your friends, family, or a blossoming romantic interest. Each relationship you have should inspire you to be the best you can be.
There are many dynamics of relationships to cover and we’ll never cover it all at once, but let’s together consider some key elements of good relationships.
Integrity
One of the most important elements of people – and thus relationships – to me is integrity. Integrity is a form of honesty. You act consistently with what you say you believe. You don’t change your behavior based on who you are spending time with. I want to take people at face value, that they mean what they say. So if they say one thing and do something else, then I typically don’t pursue a friendship with them. When you have integrity, you can be trusted.
I had one person confide that they felt a tug to be two different people depending on who they were with. I challenged them just as I would challenge anyone – which of those two people do you like better? Which represents God better? Decide who brings out the best in you and then do all you can to fully and sincerely step into that role and be that person!
Perhaps this will mean setting relationships aside. As hard as that can be, your job here on earth is to bring glory to God and represent Him well. If you are surrounding yourself with people who don’t bring out the best in you then maybe you need to reevaluate some relationships.
Ending relationships isn’t always the answer though, in my opinion. Especially if they are just casual acquaintances that you find yourself considering. For instance, there is someone who challenges me. I’m afraid some comments they make bring out my sarcastic side. Is that their problem or mine? Mine, for sure. I need to not let them trigger me, so to speak. I need to take responsibility for my responses and make sure I respond in kindness, as I would to a close friend. If I were to rush to cut them off due to my own lack of self-discipline, that wouldn’t be appropriate. I am equipped to navigate this challenge and I can show integrity and be my best in this relationship (even if my initial knee-jerk reaction was sarcasm).
Relationships Change
Though some relationships will forever be the same – your sister is your sister – others shift and change. Many are only for a season, a precious few last a lifetime. How do we navigate these relationships well – even when they come to a close? Kindness, grace, love, and pressing on are a few key elements. Time is also precious.
This year has held its challenges – as I’m sure it has for you. I was in a relationship with a man for almost a year and a half and it didn’t work out. That has taken a lot of grace and work to press on. As a friend told me, many people go through that – and I don’t pretend to think otherwise – but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and hasn’t been challenging. I don’t share this for sympathy, but rather because maybe it will help you someday.
Relationships are precious. We want to do them well and make sure they bring out the best in us. Ideally they should challenge us to go above and beyond, always willing to give more. Ladies, we too must remember that we are precious. The world treats getting-to-know-you relationships as privileged with married-couple-benefits – and I’m here to remind you that’s not how it works. Living together, intimacy outside of marriage, etc, is not appropriate and it’s not God’s way. There are levels to a relationship to build a good foundation and marriage and it is important to build those levels systematically and not rush ahead.
I would encourage you to set traditional and conservative guidelines for yourself in romantic relationships so that you don’t cross lines you’ll regret. This goes against what the world says, which to me is part of what confirms that it is so important. Get input from your parents and/or trusted elders on this. Their life experience is priceless.
Why Relationships Don’t Work
There are hundreds of reasons why relationships don’t work. Perhaps it was attitude, lack of time, lack of interest or honesty, etc. Or maybe you’ll never quite know. Though this is hard, we’re often not given an explanation. But here are a few priceless things to remember:
- You never do wrong by doing right. Choose the high road, even when it’s hard.
- Remember that each “no” leads to a better “yes”.
- Figure out how you can be an even better version of yourself in a future relationship.
There are a number of things I don’t understand, but I wholeheartedly trust God. I love that He shows me His protection and guidance, that He sees the big picture and that He knows the plans He has for me.
I think it is vitally important to press on from broken relationships. Like anything in life, forget the bad, remember the good, and look forward to what’s ahead. Leave no room in your mind or thoughts for regrets or what ifs. Trust that God is writing a remarkable story for you, for surely if you follow Him, He will!
And my last piece of advice for the moment, be careful who you agree to get to know better. You are a pearl of fine value, more precious than rubies. It is going to take a remarkable man to realize and appreciate that value. Don’t agree to go with men looking for something average, but rather a man that knows just how precious a gift from God you are.
Never give up hope – you never know what the day may bring forth and God has an incredible way of bringing things together!
Until Next Time!
Hope.
PS. More on Relationships: https://www.theamericanlady.com/2021/09/22/look-past-yourself/