May I share some relationship advice with you? I have no idea where you are in life, but maybe this will speak directly to you. Or perhaps you are well set in your relationships and it’s not really applicable.
I share this advice and these thoughts not because I have everything figured out, but rather because I like to find positive ways to think about things! At any rate, here are a few thoughts that I hope will bring you hope and encouragement!
Exercise Your Faith
I was talking to a friend the other day and I mentioned something about her future husband. She, like myself, is in her mid-thirties and has no specific man in her life. I don’t recall the specific conversation but I referenced *someday* to her. She sighed a little and responded, yeah but only if that’s what’s meant to be, type of response. And then we got busy and the conversation was over.
That response left me a little flat. Now I realize not everyone gets married, God didn’t design every single person to live the same story, I get that. But at the same time, I truly believe if you give your best for God, He uses your hopes and your dreams to give you a hint of what’s ahead!
And I don’t think it’s outside the bounds of reason to hope for and anticipate a Godly man in your future! That’s not to say I don’t get impatient and begin to wonder if he exists. But at the end of the day, when the dust settles, when my mind quiets down from the busyness of work, I truly believe God has someone just for me. I don’t know when or how we’ll meet. I have no clue where he is or what he does. But I know he’s a good man and one of these days – maybe even today! – he’s going to walk into my life and everything will change!
I love to live with hope and expectancy!
It excites me just to share this with you. And I share it – even though it is highly personal to me – to encourage you to get your hopes up too! Exercise your faith! It doesn’t take any faith to only expect what’s in front of you. But when you believe with courage and boldness the little things deep down, that’s faith.
But what if it doesn’t come true, you may be asking – and I’ve asked myself the same thing. I apply the same methods to this as I try to apply to all areas of my life. If I will surrender my hopes and dreams to God and ask Him to use them to guide me, then as things aren’t meant to be, I surrender the hope of them to Him. It is no loss to me because I know He knows best!
For instance, I seriously considered buying a house several years back. I saved money, made a lot of calls, had several inspections, talked to my parents about it, and loved the idea of it. But it just wasn’t right. And so I passed it by. True it was disappointing, but I surrendered it to God and truly believe He opened other doors for me where He wanted me to be, so it was no loss!
On a more personal level, I dated a man for over a year who I really thought was serious about a future in the not-so-distant past. Long story short, that didn’t work out and it was terribly painful. But again, I surrendered it to God knowing He would guide me where He wants me. And He did – He is always faithful!
Does that mean that I’m not meant to buy a house or get married since these situations didn’t work out? Not at all! It means there is something better out there! God will use your circumstances to steer you in the direction He wants you, if you will surrender to Him!
Set the Bar High
Vital relationship advice I would share with you it to set the bar high. In other words, have high expectations. Expect excellence from yourself in a relationship and accept nothing less from another. God has high expectations of us, so it would follow that we should have high expectations in our relationships.
That’s not to say you’re snobby or a pain. But rather that you don’t put up with foolishness. How you live your life everyday matters. How you talk at work as well as how you talk to your family. Excellence should be the goal. Accept nothing less.
I would challenge you to write out a list of what is important to you and what you believe is important to God in a man and leader. Be familiar with your list, pray over your list, thank God for taking care of the details in all this.
And then when a good man comes along, see how he measures up. Share your list with your parents or trusted elders and get their input. Surrender this process to God. I promise you it will be well worth it!
Good Men Do Exist
I’ve heard the phrase all the good ones are gone more times then I’d care to. (let’s be honest, once is too much, haha) Let me just encourage you that good men do exist. God didn’t run out or forget how to make them. It’s just our own personal timetable that’s inconvenienced.
Here’s a new way to think about this season of waiting: the time is going to pass anyway, so why not serve really well where you are right now!
I’ll be the first to tell you I’ve felt stuck in areas of my life before. (I sound rather dramatic, don’t I?!) In high school I wasn’t sure what was ahead. And then after high school there was the weekend commutes between home and work. Another time I didn’t know if our Florida property would ever sell or if we’d own it forever. Then I sold packaging supplies for the longest time, a good business, just not my dream…and the list goes on.
And do you know what each of those seasons have in common? Each of them passed!
It’s Coming!
It’s so easy to read the Bible and almost disregard parts of the stories because we’re so familiar with them. It rained for forty days and forty nights when Noah was on the ark. The woman who touched the hem of Jesus’ coat had been bleeding for years and years. Daniel was in the lions den overnight. How long did it take David to actually become king after he had been anointed and promised the throne?
So many stories and I’ve barely begun – but each of them requires time. 24 hours each day and often times years and years – and each of those years had 365 days of their own. The point I’m making is, you and I are not the first people in life to wait. It is part of the process and we’ll be just fine. But just because we don’t have it right now doesn’t mean it isn’t meant to be!
What kind of faith does it take to believe and expect what’s right in front of you? None. But expecting and hoping and praying for what’s not right in front of you – that’s something special!
God still knows how to make incredible men, of this I am certain! Get your hopes up and grow your faith! Remarkable things are coming!
Until Next Time!
Hope.
PS. Keep reading: https://www.theamericanlady.com/2017/12/20/relationships/